


All I Want for Christmas (Is Han Solo Saving the Day)

by misura



Category: Die Hard (Movies)
Genre: Christmas Shopping, Gen, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-20 09:10:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17019867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: John goes Christmas shopping. (spoiler: it doesn't go well)





	All I Want for Christmas (Is Han Solo Saving the Day)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lorax](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lorax/gifts).



Turned out the third Toys'R'Us didn't have the Rogue One Han Solo doll either.

"Are you kidding me?" John asked, because seriously? It was a _doll_. Not even a limited edition one. "Can you check?"

The kid whose name tag informed John that his name was Chad looked sullen.

John tried to look friendly and polite and not like someone who had only recently discovered the absolute viciousness of the the average Christmas shopper and had decided that next time around, he'd be bringing his gun and maybe some body armor. "Please?"

Chad sighed and slouched away.

 

It had seemed a good idea at the time.

John didn't have anyone to spend Christmas with, and Matt didn't have anyone to spend Christmas with, and they'd been sort of dating for a while now, so.

"Yeah, I'd actually made plans," Matt said.

"Oh, really. Who with?" John made a half-hearted attempt to sound interested rather than skeptical.

"Me and a bunch of guys were going to - " Matt gave him a look. "You know what, never mind. Sure, I'd love to spend Christmas with you, McClane."

"Cool," John said.

"So uh are we doing gifts? Because I can send you a link to my Amazon wishlist."

"Eh," John said.

"You're right, I'll just print it for you."

 

Top of the wishlist: a Han Solo doll. Granted, it had been a while since John had gone shopping for little Jack and Lucy, but he figured, well, how hard could it be? He got a picture and everything. That was more than he'd gotten back in the days.

So maybe he'd sort of put it off until the last minute. Judging by the number of other people around, not like he was the only one.

John had told himself he could do this. Get in, locate the doll, pay way too much money, get out. Simple. Easy.

The first shop he'd hit had pretty much set him straight there. Admittedly, he'd made the mistake of assuming dolls would be in the dolls section. At least now he knew to be grateful he wasn't looking for Belle of the Christmas Ball Barbie (and Friends).

Chad came slouching back at snail speed and empty-handed.

"Any luck?" John asked, hoping against hope.

"Sorry," Chad said, sounding about as sincere as a wet paper bag. "The Lando Calrissian dolls are all sold out. Try again next week. Or maybe the week after that."

"Thanks, bud. That's real helpful." John smiled. Imagining hitting Chad in the face a few times helped.

 

Desperate times called for desperate measures, and cops in trouble called their buddies.

"You want a what?"

John detected a hint of judgment in Camparelli's voice and decided he didn't like it. Not as if he didn't feel like enough of a chump already. "Han Solo doll. You know, from that movie. Scoundrel One."

"Rogue One," Camparelli said.

"Whatever. You got one for me?"

"Well, gee, McClane. Guess I left all my dolls in my other car."

"Look, asshole," John said. "Remember last year, when I covered your shift at Christmas and you told me you owed me one? This is me, calling in that favor. Now, can you help me out or not?"

Camparelli kept quiet for a few moments. Guy had three kids, so John reckoned he stood a good chance. "You sure you don't want a Lando? I got two of those. You want one, it's yours."

"Know what, that's great. That's real great," John said. "I need a Han Solo, dipshit. What good's a Wanda going to do me?"

"Sorry," Camparelli said. At least he sounded more sincere about it than Chad and co had.

John felt a headache coming up. Give him a bunch of terrorists, some bad guys with guns and sure, he'd know what to do. Been there, kicked their asses. No problem. 

"All right," he said. "So where'd you get yours? You never know, I might get lucky."

That one got a laugh. It also got John another address, so he figured they were even. More or less.

 

Big surprise: the place where Camparelli'd gotten his Landos was all out of Han Solos.

"But hey," the shop teen said. Compared to Chad, he was like the energizer bunny. "How about I let you have Galen and Krennic? Five dollars off if you get them both."

John closed his eyes and slowly counted to ten, and then he said, "Oh, that's too bad. I really wanted that Fett guy. You maybe got one of those left?"

The shop teen looked stumped for a moment.

John judged now was as good a time as any to cut his losses. "Never mind, thanks for looking. Happy holidays."

 

Quite how he ended up at Matt's new apartment, John didn't know.

"Whoa. What happened?" Matt's gaze flickered to the windows. "Should I keep low or - ?"

John sank down on the couch. It was a great couch. He'd helped Matt pick it out, and then he'd helped get it up six flights of stairs. That had been fun.

"Bad news, you're not getting a Rogue One Han Solo doll for Christmas."

"All right," Matt said. He seemed to take it well. John told himself it would be silly to feel just a little bit hurt. He hadn't gotten the damn thing, after all. "What's the good news?"

"I don't know." John wanted a beer and maybe some food and then sleep a solid eight hours, all of which he could have gotten if he'd gone back to his own place instead of Matt's. "You tell me."

"Well, the good news is, there's no such thing as a Rogue One Han Solo figure, on account of Han Solo not actually being in that movie," Matt said. "So, you know. There's that."

"The fuck," John said.

"Although you know, if he had been - and this is funny, actually - " John glared. Matt gulped. "On second thought, it's not that funny. So hey, I was about to order a pizza. You hungry?"

"Yeah, I could eat. You got a beer?"

"In the fridge," Matt said.

John gave him a look.

Matt got the hint, though he took his sweet time about actually getting up.

 

John felt a bit more inclined to goodwill towards his fellow men after some pizza and a couple of beers.

Matt had taken a look at the wishlist and had declared the Rogue One Han Solo doll to be the result of a printing error and therefore not his fault.

John was tempted to disagree, but on the other hand, it was sort of nice to sit there on the comfortable couch with Matt right next to him, watching some stupid movie John couldn't care less about.

"See?" Matt said. "This scene? If Han'd been there, he would have - "

John tuned him out and reached for the last slice of pizza.


End file.
